My mind says otherwise…?

hot-and-cold.jpgProverbs 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 

Is it because of the fear of rejection the reason why I have no male partner today?  Is it because I have no money to buy one?  Do I refrain myself from doing such because it is bad or it is humiliating?  Or is it because I know that I do not need one? But then again, I watch porn… but I want to stop.  How can I be holy in the sight of God when in fact I just delayed the fucking but my eyes do not.  I do not want to do these things all over again but my mind wants me to do it!  Can anyone blame me for this?

My mind tells me to succumb to the call of the flesh.  My brain is also of flesh and it seeks, it asks, and it forces me to do what it wants to fulfill.

But my brain tells me not to follow itself too.  Which of them should I follow? Is it my mind that deviseth wicked thoughts?

Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

Matthew 12:33“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.37For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

And then, an echo – only audible to my mind, continously reverberates to my heart, my ears, my brain, and my soul.  It says, “stop and think of what was taught to you!”  What are those that was taught to me then? Afterwards, though I have no photographic memory, verses begins to appear in my mind, continously, in a random fashion – words and sounds, that reminds me to avoid committing against the law, whether I substitute porn from actual fornication it is still succumbing to the lust of the flesh!

1 John 3:4 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness.

I have a committment to keep myself from the idols – the stones, statues, and the like of not only of the Roman Catholic Church, even other religions.  But worshipping idols is not only limited to such act of bowing and bending of knees or kneeling with the thought of veneration, but it also includes eating too much, worshipping other gods, practicing other faith that is against the faith of being a Christians, even fornication.

I have the capacity to do the worse evil, but thank God for providing me the wisdom and understanding of the law of faith.

I pray, that my committment to avoid that which is against the law of faith, will not be for nothing though I sometimes transgress.  God knows how much I want to stop, and I do not want to lose the Holy Spirit and the angel that guides me.  I want to continue living in holiness.  Please give me another chance, I pray, I beg, because I do not want to become the person who the prophecy below shall and being fulfilled to.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

Isaiah 29:13 The Lord says:
“These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men

2 Thessalonians 2:11-12 “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”

Matthew 12:43“When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

I pray that I continously enjoy the miracles promised to Christians in this era:

1. the pure and undefiled religion;

2.  the fruit of the Spirit, the power to fight the call of the flesh and the bad spirits,

3.  to be able to express love in works and keeping the law of faith with the help of Jesus Christ,

4. etc. (more at

 James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

1 Timothy 5:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.

7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Hypocrisy is applying holiness in form, but denying it in heart. This is holiness in illusion; and definitely is a sin. — Eliseo F. Soriano

Matthew 12:38 Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you.”  39He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.

40For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

41The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now one greater than Jonah is here. 42The Queen of the South will rise at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for she came from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, and now one greater than Solomon is here.

Galatians 5:6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.  7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9“A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.

11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!  13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  

17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

1 John 3:4 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 
Romans 2:1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 
 4Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?
 5But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. 6God “will give to each person according to what he has done.” 7To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. 9There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; 10but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.
11For God does not show favoritism.
12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.
14(Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, 15since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.)
16This will take place on the day when God will judge men’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares. 

My God, I want to repent.  Please give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me.  I know that it is your kindness that is leading me to repentance. 

Ezekiel 11:19; 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 
Please God, help me to be found approved in your sight after the time of testing and help me not to be doubleminded.
Hebrews 3
1Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. 2He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. 3Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. 4For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. 5Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house, testifying to what would be said in the future. 6But Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.
 7So, as the Holy Spirit says:
   “Today, if you hear his voice,
    8do not harden your hearts
   as you did in the rebellion,
      during the time of testing in the desert,
 9where your fathers tested and tried me
      and for forty years saw what I did.
 10That is why I was angry with that generation,
      and I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
      and they have not known my ways.’
 11So I declared on oath in my anger,
      ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ “
 12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 14We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. 15As has just been said:
   “Today, if you hear his voice,
      do not harden your hearts
   as you did in the rebellion.”
 16Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? 17And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? 18And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? 19So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.

James 1:

 1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
      To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Revelations 3:15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

When my mind says otherwise, my heart tells me now of a verse that I learned:

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you
  1. August 9, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    Dude…you need to relax. There’s nothing wrong with you, besides your neurotic connection to religion. If religion doesn’t make your life *better,* why partake?

  2. August 12, 2007 at 5:40 am

    I hope you can read my post all over again.

    I am considering the fact that there is something wrong in me to be able to correct it with the help of the HOLY SPIRIT.

    I have included verses that proves that PURE AND UNDEFILED religion makes my life better.

  3. Luis Miguel
    August 16, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    just believe in yourself, bible is a lie.
    the reality is no one chooses to be gay
    bakit naman sinasabing kasalanan ang maging bading sa bible. kung kasalanan ang kabaklaan, bakit tayo pinanganak na bakla? napakaunfair naman ng diyos kung ganoon.

    naawa ako sa iyo elmantheman, masyado mong pinahihirapan ang sarili mo dahil lang sa religion

    sexuality is a natural thing, pag pinipilit mong isupress,nadedepress ka
    maghanap ka ng boyfriend, have a healthy sex life, wag yung pinipigil, dahil habang pinipigil mo yan, lalo kang manggigil. yan ay proven na ng mga scientific studies.

    nabasa ko article ni bro eli tungkol sa kabaklaan, ewan ko parang mali ang interpretasyon niya. read I cor 6:20, it implies that gays have been changed. pero impossible yun dahil ang kabaklaan ay natural na bagay. hindi mo pwedeng baguhin ang ano mang itinakda ng kalikasan.

  4. August 17, 2007 at 7:21 am

    I am sorry if this is how you understood what I meant from the way I constructed my sentence.

    I never mentioned that being gay is a sin. Being gay defined as someone who feels like a girl even the urge towards boys. What I was insinuating is that, anyone can feel something deeper to anyone even to your opposite sex, or same sex. And I think what God can change about gays is their outlook in life and the wisdom and understanding that our reality is not about loving passionately and afterwards fucking boys.

    I know where I stand though it’s hard whenever the devil insists and tempt you to succumb to the call of the flesh.

    Yes it is a normal thing to be gay but to fuck someone having the same reproductive organ is against the nature of why we were created.

    I know, because I am a normal male person even if I feel passionate or inspired toward a male. I never doubt the intention or the plan of The Father for creating me. I just know too that He never lies and He has prepared something for me if I finished my run and be victorious over the flesh, if I will be triumphant resisting the devil, with the help of His son, Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for giving your opinion, and I hope you read and hear more of Bro Eliseo Soriano as he reads to us the Scriptures by visiting:

  5. May 9, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Job 20

    1 Then Zophar the Naamathite replied:
    2 “My troubled thoughts prompt me to answer
    because I am greatly disturbed.

    3 I hear a rebuke that dishonors me,
    and my understanding inspires me to reply. …

    Luis Miguel, you can be compared to Zophar when he replied using his own understanding. But listen to Job’s reply.

    Job 21

    1 Then Job replied:
    2 “Listen carefully to my words;
    let this be the consolation you give me.

    3 Bear with me while I speak,
    and after I have spoken, mock on.

    4 “Is my complaint directed to man?
    Why should I not be impatient?

    5 Look at me and be astonished;
    clap your hand over your mouth.

    6 When I think about this, I am terrified;
    trembling seizes my body.

    7 Why do the wicked live on,
    growing old and increasing in power?

    8 They see their children established around them,
    their offspring before their eyes.

    9 Their homes are safe and free from fear;
    the rod of God is not upon them.

    10 Their bulls never fail to breed;
    their cows calve and do not miscarry.

    11 They send forth their children as a flock;
    their little ones dance about.

    12 They sing to the music of tambourine and harp;
    they make merry to the sound of the flute.

    13 They spend their years in prosperity
    and go down to the grave [a] in peace. [b]

    14 Yet they say to God, ‘Leave us alone!
    We have no desire to know your ways.

    15 Who is the Almighty, that we should serve him?
    What would we gain by praying to him?’

    16 But their prosperity is not in their own hands,
    so I stand aloof from the counsel of the wicked.

    17 “Yet how often is the lamp of the wicked snuffed out?
    How often does calamity come upon them,
    the fate God allots in his anger?

    18 How often are they like straw before the wind,
    like chaff swept away by a gale?

    19 It is said, ‘God stores up a man’s punishment for his sons.’
    Let him repay the man himself, so that he will know it!

    20 Let his own eyes see his destruction;
    let him drink of the wrath of the Almighty. [c]

    21 For what does he care about the family he leaves behind
    when his allotted months come to an end?

    22 “Can anyone teach knowledge to God,
    since he judges even the highest?

    23 One man dies in full vigor,
    completely secure and at ease,

    24 his body [d] well nourished,
    his bones rich with marrow.

    25 Another man dies in bitterness of soul,
    never having enjoyed anything good.

    26 Side by side they lie in the dust,
    and worms cover them both.

    27 “I know full well what you are thinking,
    the schemes by which you would wrong me.

    28 You say, ‘Where now is the great man’s house,
    the tents where wicked men lived?’

    29 Have you never questioned those who travel?
    Have you paid no regard to their accounts-

    30 that the evil man is spared from the day of calamity,
    that he is delivered from [e] the day of wrath?

    31 Who denounces his conduct to his face?
    Who repays him for what he has done?

    32 He is carried to the grave,
    and watch is kept over his tomb.

    33 The soil in the valley is sweet to him;
    all men follow after him,
    and a countless throng goes [f] before him.

    34 “So how can you console me with your nonsense?
    Nothing is left of your answers but falsehood!”

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: