A Rational Homo
Imagine yourselves in pain of having the gender that you did not ask for nor dream of. I learned to hate myself whenever I imagine that. Or maybe it is the indifference caused by negative connotations that follow it. More so, when authorities in this field usually insinuate that being a homosexual is tantamount to condemnation or eternal damnation to hell.
Can I really change, that is, to long for my opposite sex instead? I do not know, but what I know is that it has always been a part of my prayers that the emptiness that can only filled by the same gender be filled by His grace. Even the pre-conceived ideas that day by day taking my sanity. I am asking God to change my thoughts.
I find rest in Romans 8. To wit a verse, Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
It is by learning my purpose in life that I am able to accept my gender. Part of being gay is being human having an extra strength, curiosity, and open-mindedness. I think that whenever in pain and sorrow, I become one with my self, my consciousness. I can wake up from the reality where everyone has his role to play, a circus of clowns and deceptions.
I love my God, that One that cannot lie. And I know, I am man enough, to realise and accept a part of the Truth that some has been blinded to recognise. I am not a man made from His own image and likeness when I talk only about myself. I become “a man” because I am part of the body where the Head is Jesus Christ and the body is my fellow brothers in the church.
I believe that I am not of this world with materialistic point of view. I am also eternal, and it was grabbed from me. The right was stolen from me. And I have the right to take it back. But how can I do that?
Again I quote, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
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